Her's little diary .

2012-02-14T07:48:00.001-08:00

Sick ! Fml

What i want to sY is just that thing chAnge . Ppl change ! ;( hais. Feeling change !

2012-02-06T12:22:00.001-08:00

I donnoe when is the last time a boy has walked into mylife and have a speacial places in my heArt, and today after 3 yrs he is one of it .. I dnnoe hw did he make it , but i really noe tht i cant lost him.. Bie , i love u .

2012-02-01T06:46:00.001-08:00

I remember yst that i told u . I feel differently .. And yet today u say thing that make me feel im not important .. At that moment , i feel im nth.. But a replacement again .. If u wanna say interm of my attitude .. From the Earlier i alr did told u how naive im , how bad temper im .. And i remember clearly i did not just told u once but many times .. But u can just keep forget about what i have said to u .. Again i feel left out and unimportant ..

Whatever MC said to you , you just remember clearly .. You remember each and every of her words .. But me ? Not even my brthday u can remember and U still have to think .. AND u owes blame its my fault ,, fine . I say sorry .. Although i don think its my fault .. I know im not
As good as her .. What am i is just a better skin than her nth mre ..

2012-02-01T06:45:00.001-08:00

2012-02-01T06:23:00.001-08:00

Once a failure , forever failure .

I tot im good in treating people , maybe my own bf ..

But im so wrong .. Im tired of everything . .

I wanna go bk to my life where there ony my world .. Noone else ..

I cant handle things , i cant bear with my heart that keep hunting me and control me for fuck stuff .. Im bad and i think god think i deserve all this ! The 1 years single make me go through ALOT and that really ENOUGH for me .
I don wan to suffer anymore .. I had enough what guys have put me through , test and all ..

Im NOT A PRO GAMING PERSON , NOT EVEN LOVE GAME . WO REN SHU ! Happy ?! This is what u all want from me ! Fuck my life !

I just wanna say bye to everythng , whatsapp and all . I guess i wont back here and blogging agen .

******
I'm not a b**ch. I've been through a few things, seen a few things, been there & done that. I can be cold…yes but only because I once gave a damn about someone who failed to give a damn about me. I've built a fortress to protect my heart from further damage. You tell me that you’re different but I won’t believe it until you prove it. Words don’t mean a thing, actions are everything.

2012-02-01T06:03:00.001-08:00

I may be POOR when it comes to LOVELIFE, but talking about FAMILY and FRIENDS, I am the RICHEST!

Yes , im the richest , maybe la , i feel
That way :p cs whenever i can hlp i hlp ..

2012-01-30T07:17:00.001-08:00

Life is way too short to think about what happened in the past and thinking of what you could of done insted of thinking whats next. People really need to think ahead, and dont look back, it'll only hurt you. Forget about regreting and what people will say to you. Spray yourself in Teflon and move on. If the ones you love want to leave, let them. Everyone will always wish the love of their life would love you back or why did they leave me but once you understand through everything in life you need to love yourself in every situation. Just laugh at yourself and understand your only human. Let people say what they want, anything mean take as a compliment. They just need to be mean to feel better about themselves. Help them achieve that feeling, I mean why not. What goes around, comes around. Just make the most of everything that pops up along your way. Forget about what she said or what he did and be happy that now you know. Be yourself and just forget about everyone; your not perfect, why pretend. When life get tough take it as a challenge and show god that you can keep afloat. Stay Strong and survive. When someone gives you a smile take it, hold onto it for a rainy day. Don't frown, someone could be falling in love with your smile. Be brave even if your not, pretend; If you think you can, you'll be able to.

2012-01-28T06:00:00.001-08:00

Aww . I miss him.. Mre than 8 hrs we din txt each other ;( anw , baby hope u are ok ;)

2012-01-27T08:37:00.001-08:00

I know that sometimes im not good at handle things .. I feel bad that i owes make my love unhPpy .. I feel bad that when someone compare me with others gals .. Im not perfect , so do them..I know i cant give u what she gave u before .. I know i cant be that speacial ..

Sometimes i really thought to myself i don deserve love frm people , cos im sux just like this .. I don deserve boy Either even a bf .. I seriously don deserve all this

I don do whatever u guys Asked me To .. I disobey orders . I don listen .. I phobia that i may get hurt ! I listen too much bfre and i get hurt at the end ..

I tried to change but at the end he * my ex left me and go for othr gal that is mre shitty than me ..

So tell me . WHAT CAN I DO ! I LISTEN I GET HURT I DON LISTEN I GET LOST OF SOMETHNG .

Life is so unfair to me , i just want a loyal bf . Thee one that love me and so do i , the one that will never let go of my hand no matter what the situation is .. No matter what happen .. No matter what the big and small thing we argue .. Cos i noe, no matter what happen i will forgive .. Cos i cant bear to see the one that i love walk away ,.

2012-01-26T20:22:00.001-08:00

I really did appreciate you more than any other guy that ever walk in and out of my life .. Byht at some point ... Just ...

2012-01-25T10:56:00.001-08:00

A simple word, yet complicating,very easy to pronounce but billions of times more difficult to understand. It consists of ups and downs, days and nights but still sometimes you find yourself stuck in between somewhere. A different kind of melancholy consisting of many kinds of feelings...full opportunities to success nonetheless it brings disappointing moments as well. A small word of four alphabets which helps human to either taste happiness or accept sour sorrows..always put you in test and difficult situations but at the end leave a moral or a sense of understanding. Some people are fed up of it because they don't realize its importance as its gifted, and the rest have learn how to smile at it, so that it smiles back. It brings people in dilemma and confusing moments and leave them to either overcome it successfully or feel left-out. The choice is always yours...."Life", a simple word, yet complicating....

2012-01-25T10:47:00.001-08:00

I have never thought of having a speacial bonding with someone again after the massive heart broken for the past few years..

But i still will being a secretive bitch which dont really tell what am i thinking :( cos i noe i
Can solve it myself and i do believe i can find a way to solve it .. Everything also have SOLUTION!

Baby is leaving soon and i dont have much time to be with him again .. No more pampering , tolerate feel anymore.. I never really did try a fucking long distance realtionship before but i will try my best to make it through or any possible way that i can .. Im not a half way give up people . I will achieve the thing that i want to ..baby , pls be tolerate and patient with my temper .. I may be fierce and not understanding at time .. But i wish u could stand me and not let me go just like that .. This is the little test for both of us :) i love you

2012-01-13T15:42:00.001-08:00

With much of dissapointment , i realize there will be no more guys can hold me tight enuf . Some small arguement , some testing they can just let you go like that .. EASILY ~! Not much to complaint cos im not good as the other i not qualified to play or involve in love .. I have no confident, i have no trust , im not deserve to be love by ppl too :)

Well, i have not much to ask for .. I just wish 2012 be good to me . Love ? Might as well put aside cos im really scared and blind already.. I See far far already.. School? Oh god , pls pray for me that i can get through :(

2012-01-10T01:22:00.001-08:00

Broken There are days when it will seem like your whole world is falling apart and you will prefer to hide underneath a blanket rather than face the destruction that is taking place around you. These will be the days when the feeling of loneliness finally wins its battle against you and you will surrender yourself to tears and anger of what seems like an hopeless situation. And you’ll want to break down without really knowing what you’re breaking down about, other than fact of finally feeling the pain of all the scars you obtained throughout life’s challenges. Without really knowing where to begin to cure the emotional turmoil caused by the weight of this world, you fall to your knees with to intent to get back up again. It will be during these days were you will feel broken. But it’s important to remember that even though something breaks, it’s isn’t impossible to fix again. It’s important to remember that life is filled with these imperfect moments that seems like dead ends and too difficult to get through, but it’s worth not giving up to see our world rebuilt into something beautiful again. It’s as if these imperfections in life are needed to realize how spectacular and beautiful everything is when things are finally going right. As if life is destroys our world and knocks us down to make room for something better for us to see when we get back up again.

2012-01-09T08:37:00.001-08:00

And sometimes you just have to let them go..Hope they are happy in their life and they will realize what they have lost but it will be too late. You will have moved on to the one who believes in you, supports you, respects you, loves you unconditionally. If you are looking for that love, never give up looking for it. It will find you because you are sending those vibes out there. God loves you always and knows you are not meant to go through life alone. Plus He is always w/you regardless so you are never truly alone.

2012-01-06T07:38:00.001-08:00

I meet this boy 4 yrs ago , we get through alot and still counting.. Baby , although we breakup and together and breakup.. You still that man for me after so many we had go through.. Today , this month.. We already been together for 6 month .. And i seriously never thought of getting together so long without realising.. Baby can we try to make it longer than the previous one we ever had ?

Dear , i just want you to know you still the man of my life nomatter wat ever happened in the past.. U still got tht speacial places in my heart and u still the most unique one for me .. I love you from the bottom of heart..

Sincerely, ur gf!

2012-01-05T01:23:00.001-08:00

The problem I have whenever I get into a relationship is that I start caring too much. It gets to this point where I put the other person before me and I put their happiness before mine. I don’t like it, but at the same time I can’t help it. I just can’t help but try my best to make them happy and try my best to keep our relationship. I’d do anything for them. And I hate it. And i always wish to be appreciate :(

2012-01-03T08:23:00.001-08:00

12 month just like that passed and im seriously abit sad cos i did nothing in the past 12 month # forever alone life seem to be the most bored ! Nvm get use to it !!

Actually i did la, but i really cant remember all of them ..the most i remember is that i bought a rabbit den it die, den my hammy aka hamster escaped from her cages and im not single and i went back to my hometown :) see told ya.. Its sad life , NO? actualy not really sad la, still acceptable just tht i hiam only . Hehe

Anyways. I Still cant think of my new year resolution but what i really wanted to look forwards is to be happy :)

2012 be good , i know you hate me for the past 4 years cos whateber i promise i never really did it.. HAHA

ANW, happy new year :))

2011-12-28T09:40:00.001-08:00

Too much thing happening this few days. I get too much stress easilyX mood just swing easily !

God ! Why why why :(

2011-12-23T07:55:00.001-08:00

What girls want in guys-

Morning messages/goodnight ones
Someone who will lay down and watch stars with her.
Someone to still cuddle her when shes sick.
To be lazy and just watch movies with her all day.
TO think she is beautiful no matter what she is wearing.
Someone who makes her feel gorgeous.
Kisses in the ran.
To hold her hand even when they are driving.
A boy that will still treat her like a princess even when in front of his friends.
A boy that knows shes broken but still wants to pick up the pieces.
Huggs from behind.
Light kisses are always the cutest.
To be afraid of losing her.
Someone to fight for her.
Who will always be there no matter how much she screws up.
But most of all, someone who will love her

2011-12-23T07:13:00.000-08:00

why the hell on earth that some friends is so realistic.. i mean seriously , like when they needed ur help they just come by and asked for help.. and when u replied them sound like busuang .. they started to spark u , and behsong you for just some little fucking misunderstanding.. i really dont understand lor.. cos ha ... its just a message.. and why do u need to take my message so seriously? isit by the tone u read it or what? please la, we are friends like so many years already and you still dont understand like that..

and i seriously hate those type of friends like when u copied something like they like or what and they went behind u and said it to other people lor.. and said it like u COPY CAT.. please la, dont tell me u never copied people? WHO THE HELL NEVER COPIED? i did k? dont tell me u never copied youtube tutorial, MAKEUP FROM POPTEEN, style from popteen and all those .! cb ! think before you speak la..

i never did say u copied me.. like u copied me for the same brand phone before i bought !!! wadafak...

see sometimes friend beside me is just fucked me up !

2011-12-09T12:35:00.001-08:00

Thanks god. Its december. Blink of an eye 2012 is coming soon yeah ! Another year im getting older.. :(

Anyway, i wish u guys enjoy on this last month of dec 2011.. I will be going to kuching for a vacation and my cousin wedding :)

Anf ohyea.. Anther mnth of monthsary:) ohbaby, u have no idea how much i love you ;) i may say smethng whch i shouldnt say:. Bt trust me, i love u :)

2011-12-09T10:49:00.001-08:00

Tat somebody means so much too me, tht him behind meh!

2011-12-07T09:48:00.001-08:00

wilber pan wei bo . gosh he is so amazing!!!!! i can go like cry baby when i was watching this movie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFUBiU2Aqfk

2011-12-02T11:12:00.001-08:00

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.

2011-11-29T04:13:00.001-08:00

Sometimes, I just want everything to end, that nobody cares about me not even one bit but, at the same time I know they do, maybe just not the people I want. Life is hard nobody said it would be easy &, I wish that sometimes i was young once again in elementry school, where there was no drama, no heart breaking only over when somone stole your pencil.. no talking behind each other backs & when everyone was friends. But things change alot over the years & next thing you know its high school, People will talk s**t about you, betray you & judge. You find out who your true friends are & who you can truely trust..

3 years pass by, where did the time go? i get my first love, they end up breaking my heart & they are somone i will never get over,..i don't fully get over them i just learn to live without them, & they have hurt me so much but, no matter what i still love them, i would take them back in a flash.. So really, why want to end everything when this is life. it wasnt promised to be easy, it never was. Its diffiucult at times when so many things are happening, & when one thing goes wrong, your sad but why make that ruin your mood? like it's so amazing how one person can ruin your mood by saying 1 word. like 1 word ruining your day, mood, life who knows? You should deserve to be smiling all the time :) No matter what we will survive this life & get out alive.

Also the one thing I like about this site is that you can post what you feel, & nobody judges for what your going through cause some people on here might just understand some parts of what your going through. & that's what I love when your friends don't at times.
One last thing, You guys are amazin! for somewhat helping me out & for you helping others.

2011-11-14T08:21:00.001-08:00

I wanna believe u when u say I love u, without having to doubt u.. I wanna trust u, without having those images and voices in my head that tell me not to... I wanna forget all the pain u put me through.. And move on with u...

Not a happy one

2011-11-13T09:05:00.001-08:00

2 years back i love him more than myself. And im very shure abt that.. At that moment, nothing mean mre to me other than him .. Bt after almost a year of being together.. I changed.. Getting upset of something.. Thing changed , friends is much mre important than me.. Bt he will never know .. How hurt am i when everytime i tried to revenge back.. Tears, massive heart break over and over again..

I changed when i feel dissapointed .. Thinking happily that i could celebrate my first time xmas ever in my life with the one whom i love the most.. Its not that im naive.. Who the hell on earth dont wanna celebrate their xmas wth the one they love the most.. If they dont.. That obviously proved tht he/she dont love u.. Unless he gave u a reasonable reason ..

Bcs of this small matter i end up, feeling hopeless in this relationship.. That i decided to breakup on feb .. Cos i totally meet someone else that time.. After that im wv smeone else.. So does he ..

After i break up wth anther one.. He back to my side.. During tht time im having a massive heart broken and life.. So i decided to be with him again .. UNFORTUNATELY, we broke up again.. Why ? I guess he should know mre than me.. On tat time i will never ever forget how the fuck cruel he is.. That i cant forgive him in my life, i swear for that!!

The next days he put in a relationship with a girl . Seriously , it hurt me alot that caused me hate him even more in mylife.. Days passed he targetted the girl tht he inbox with ..

And aafter mnth passed, the girl told me tht he choosen over me than him.. I never told her to do that.. Evendow i said i hate him for doing that to me..i even blessed him.. Tht he finally meet someone better than me.. Unfortunately, he tot im the one who did it.. Making him lost his hope..he deleted me in his fb .. On that moment i get really pissed off and dissapointed! I even blessed him but he tot im the one whom did it..

I blocked him frm fb and any possibility way that he can connect to me.. Slowly on tht time i moved on.. Slowly healing.. Forget him..

One days, i went to his house to have a drinking session.. His fren told me he ll be thre and even asked if im ok.. So since i move on.. So with out thinking i said yes, its ok ..

Reaching there feeling akward, i just drink and not even say hi to him cs like i said i hate him to the max..

He stopped his fren to make me drink when i went to the toilet.. Coming out knowing that he said somethng making me wanna drink tht cos i dnwn his tong ching ..

After hrs passed i stop , cs my limit was at the max.. And he msged me ask me to come in.. So i do

We talked and he appologize.. I accepted in tears.. Saying to him why he did tht to me when im not the one who did it.. He told me he regret doing tht..

Days passed, we started to get close bak.. And we get bak tgthrr..

Bt this time, i guess everything was so diff tht i dn care anymrez.. Cs i had enuf of heart broken .. I just go with the flow.. Hoping tht everything is gonna be ok !

With love !

2011-11-13T06:33:00.001-08:00

I really dont know the date we together.. But most important for me now is another month with him together is another monthsary.. The date aint important anymore.. I use to wrte alot of shit when its our anni.. Bt not anymrr.. Not bcos of i dnwn.. Is bcs i feel that i truely love him from my heart is much more meaningful than those messages and words.. Like ppl use to say action say louder than words.. Although i may say shit thing like i dont trust him bt still there time i trust.. Bt ofcos not 100% maybe half of it.. He may not be the most perfect boy.. The one who use to tolerate me annd although thing doesnt same like bfre bt still im loving him.. Bcs i accept for who he are.. I GUESS. Nt all. i do dont like the thing he did sometime.. But maybe if i am him maybe i will know why he like the thng that i don like..

Baby im not perfect , but i do wish u can understand me abit.. I love  u!

2011-10-14T06:51:00.001-07:00

I wouldnt know what will happen to our future.
But i just know that both of us want a happy one in the present

Baby, i love u:) i may nt be the best for you and i jst want the best qualities that u have :) i wouldnt ask for more but our love will never change

2011-09-09T09:43:00.001-07:00

Mom i just want to let u know that
everyday i thank God for blessing
me with a mother like u and if i
had one wish i would wish that
everyone else would atleast have a
mom half as wonderful as u are... ur not just my mom but one of my
best friends and i love how u
understand me and i can come to u
for advice thank you for always
being here for me i appreciate all
that u give me i love you

2011-09-09T09:24:00.001-07:00

When you lose someone, someone
you love, when they break your
heart, it's the hardest thing you
could ever go through, and no
matter how much time has passed,
it never really goes away. You may think you're getting better, but
then you get a flashback, or hear a
song that reminds you of a
memory, and it hits you all over
again, all at once, like a stab in the
chest. You fall apart for the hundreth time, and you feel like
you just want to crawl under a rock
and never come out. You love this
person with all of your heart, even
though you know you shouldn't.
They hurt you worse than you've ever been hurt. They stole your
happiness. But yet, you still want
them, and only them. Other people
come along and give you chances
to move on, but you know you
don't want to. It upsets you that you might be moving on, because
you promised you never would.
And even if they broke all of their
promises, you want to keep yours.
On top of that, you're terrified.
Terrified of getting hurt again. But it's not like that matters anyway.
At the end of the day you're still
thinking about that person who
has left you completely broken.
You don't want to miss them
anymore. You don't want to love them anymore, but you know you
always will.

2011-08-19T08:30:00.001-07:00

its suck max when someone trying to judge you based on your personalities , family background , friends you be with.
those who judge based on people personalities, family background and friends we be with..
aint you all have brain? or you guys is not educated?
seriously , who are you to judge them?
you're not them and you doesnt know something about them also
and some people its not always stay in the past.
so please stop judging them based on their past.

I get really piseed off when someone trying to judge me based on my past , family background etc.
im not lucky like some of you out there born in such a perfect condition
well place of staying and get what you want..
i aint born from the rich family..
my family dont drive BMW and good car around.
and i dont depand on them, i earn my own money and spend it my own.
im an independent girl and i dont get what i want and i have to work hard for it..
most importantly
i feel proud of being born in this family
it let me learn difficulties, hard times , and other thing that some of the rich kids never been go through.
so , have some of you go through of what i have go through during my childhood?
walking from home to the city under the hot sun for like 20 mins ?
going to some place that have water and wash cloth?
give people looking down even its OWN COUSIN?
well honest , i never treat them as my own cousin.
in their eye , we are the poor one , and we will throw them face because they are the rich one * WTH
AND most important , MY FAMILY NEVER DEPAND ON THEM .

honestly , how many of you know the real michelle aka xiao ting.
how many of you know the place condition i live during my childhood..
how many of you know that i cried whenever i think of the hard times i have go through with my family and the colour of face of RICH PEOPLE?

My previous relationship ?
my ex told his best friends that im eye-ing on his money
which i never bother to ask any penny from him
and the exact amount of salary of him
and ANYTHING about MONEY of HIM.
and he cheated on me and leave me and still say such thing at outside
which is not true at all and make people THINK IM A FUCKING GOLD DIGGER SLUT.
And did you all know that my ex is a fucking asshole qualified to be a gosip girl as well as
HOLLYWOOD ACTRESS?
and most important he is trying to make some of his fucking stuborn friend to believe
his good well lies to judge me!!
im human , im imperfect .
so , please stop judge me
if you have go through what i have go through
you would have feel what i have feel.

2011-08-15T22:00:00.001-07:00

This is how human brain changes when the status changed. Only few remember what life was before, and who’s always been there even in the most painful situations. Life Is A Gift Today before you think of saying an unkind word–
think of someone who can’t speak. Before you complain about the taste of your food–
think of someone who has nothing to eat. Before you complain about your husband or wife–
think of someone who is crying out to God for a companion. Today before you complain about life–
think of someone who went too early to heaven. Before you complain about your children–
think of someone who desires children but they’re barren. Before you argue about your dirty house, someone didn’t clean or sweep–
think of the people who are living in the streets. Before whining about the distance you drive–
think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet. And when you are tired and complain about your job–
think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job. But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another–
remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker. And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down–
put a smile on your face and thank God you’re alive and still around. Life is a gift – Live it, Enjoy it, Celebrate it, and Fulfill it.

2011-08-15T21:58:00.001-07:00

I’ve learned-
that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
I’ve learned-
that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.
I’ve learned-
that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
I’ve learned-
that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that * im not shure i will or not *.
I’ve learned-
that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.
I’ve learned-
that you should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
I’ve learned-
that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.
I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.
I’ve learned-
that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I’ve learned-
that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be and still counting.
I’ve learned-
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I’ve learned-
that you can keep going long after you can’t.
I’ve learned-
that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I’ve learned-
that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I’ve learned-
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I’ve learned-
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I’ve learned-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I’ve learned-
that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.
I’ve learned-
that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.
I’ve learned-
that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I’ve learned-
that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
I’ve learned-
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated..
I’ve learned-
that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.
I’ve learned-
that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
I’ve learned-
that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I’ve learned-
that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.
I’ve learned-
that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.
I’ve learned-
that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I’ve learned-
that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
’ve learned-
that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I’ve learned-that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.
I’ve learned-
that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings, and standing up for what you believe.
I’ve learned-
that people will forget what you said, and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

2011-08-10T19:42:00.000-07:00

before i start this post , i just wanna say .. this is my own opinion .. you can just leave it if u disagree about it.. * peace no war *

I regretted of so much thing but who the hell in this world never regretted on whatever they have done? I do and every each of us also right? We are all human , we are all the same but the only things that make us different is CONFLICT.. sometimes, we disagree on other people thought ,, we have other opinion/thought.. and sometimes we acted like we know them..

we often heard and said this ' i will never regret of what i've done' or ' regret is just a waste of time' yes, it’s really a waste of time because we can’t turn back time and change everything back and make it alright again.. but if we had given a chance to, who doesn’t want to? I get too emotional to think back my past, its hurt me so much that tears my heart apart. it does remind me alot of thing .. It remind me how much mistake I has done in the past.. I used to said , learn from mistakes. i do , and i did . but who will ever forget their biggest mistake in their life and the regret they once have? i never and never will unless i have lost my memories. Even though we forgive about it, but somehow some days we will still talk about it right?

i regret of my relationship.

do not mistake,n it’s not that my previous relationship is not good. It’s just that i doesn't deserve the love he had for me & i doesn't know how to appreciate his presence in my life. its not that i don't know how to appreciate , its just that i doesn't know how to show it ... i appreciate the love he has for me , the presence of him in my life . i appreciate when i needed him the most he was beside me and being supportive and caring . I APPECIATE EVERY SINGLE THINGS he had done to me just to keep this relation alive. i did do my part too , but when i did everything was too late and everything change no matter how much i tried my best ...

i regret of letting someone go who I truely love

i guess , every of you might think i'm silly but you all are not me and you all doesnt know myfeeling and adventure when i was with him . difficulties, happiness i have go through with him togethher. he is a boy who never question me whenever he noes i had do something wrong because he know that we might end up argument or break up or getting worst. he is a boy who love to keep everything in his heart when something went wrong but of course sometime we did argue over some misunderstanding and he did speak out everything. he is loyal and trust at me .. but why did i let him go? please go back to my above detail .. we have been together 2 times .. above is the 2nd times im back with him... the first times its was my fault and the second times its was also both of us fault.. im not going to write in detail , because i guess its the past and we re now getting better .. we may seems like complicated but i feel much more happier being like this way .. and it may look different from the past but i guess i still have to accept it as long as he is beside me... cos im still deeply madly love him... i hope my sacrifice , will be appreciate and i hope he doesn't dissappointed me again this time.

i regret on trusted a person i shouldnt has trust.

every and each of us shurely will facing this problem .. some people just love to being fake and get more attention from us .. some people just like to make up stories to talk to when he/she was bored. some people just love to be a drama retard. i have no idea why cant they just be themself, its better to show ur own personalities.. because we can see , who accept the way we are and truely be friend with us . NO? please be urself because personalities is the most beautiful inner and outer beauty we ever had in our life. you should be proud , because every one of us is born to be unique and we cant find someone out there like you ourself!!

disappointed childhood.

i put it disappointed because regret and disappointed is almost the similar same meaning. i bet not all of you have a beautiful childhood .... but to those who has a wonderful and beautiful childhood to be memories, please appreciate. because i doesn't have a wonderful childhood once in mylife *tsk. but maybe i will have a wonderfull tennagehood or adulthood for the coming and goings of time? * just pray * i may seems like i have a teenagehood that is sad but i really did felt wonderful on my teenagerhood because i learnt a lot as i grow .. great adventure and do something that i never done before .. i did not expect that my teenagehood will be good cos in every each of you all life have its ups and down . we just need to see how we overcome every obstacle .. im not going to write in detail why is my childhood aint wonderful , because i have my own privacy and i hope u all do respect. but if youre someone that who is close to me , you might know why . but i guess there only one person in my entire life who knows it.. and maybe two person in my entire life that my future husband unless i lost my memories. HAHA...

There still is much more thing to be said .. but i guess i will just stop here=)

2011-08-10T09:35:00.001-07:00

The greatest irony of love: Loving the right

person at the wrong time, having the wrong

person when the time is right, and finding out

you love someone right after that person

walks out of your life... And sometimes, you

think you're already over a person, But when you see them smile at you, you'll

suddenly realize that you're just pretending

to be over them just to ease the pain of

knowing that they will never be yours

again... For some, they think that letting go is

one way of expressing how much you love the person... In my opinion, some are afraid

to see the one they love being held by

someone else... Most relationships tend to fail

not because the absence of love - love is

always present. It's just that one was being

loved too much and the other was being loved too little... As we all know the heart is

the center of the body but it beats on the left.

Maybe that's the reason why the heart is not

always right... Most often, we fall in love

with the person we think we love but to only

discover that for them, we are just for past times, while the one who truly loves us

remains either a friend or a stranger... So

here's a piece of advice: Let go when you're

hurting too much. Give up when love isn't

enough, and move on when things are not

like before... For sure, there is someone out there who will love you even more...

2011-08-08T21:36:00.001-07:00

Insomnia Insomnia is my new best friend as well as an enemy. She plays my memories like a film to keep me from my sleep. The horrors of my life unfold as I sit here in the dark. Look at all the sorrow that I've felt and all the anger that I should have delt. The fear, the pain, and insecurity that drives me near the edge. Something deep inside of me that cannot make amends. My stomach clenches, my heart beats fast, and tears well in my eyes. Why won't it stop? Why can't I rest? Let me sleep and dream tonight so I can find some peace. But morning will come soon and these thoughts will never cease.

2011-08-04T05:14:00.001-07:00

This is dedicated to that special someone who
never give up on me when i surrender,who
steals my smiles without my permission,who
allowed me to dream beyond my limits and
believe in taking chances,that person who
accepted me as i am with my ups and downs,who listened to my crap as a valuable
speeche,who gave me a space to be me,who
lightened my burden and cleared my
confusion.
Who made me his queen before i made him
my knight,who built a space for me in his heart before i did,only to him and only him
who showed me how relations are built to
last.
Distance and life could set us apart but atleast
when i'll grow old i'll have a story to tell
about a special someone who made everything look special in my eyes, atleast
when i die i know that i could live forever in
someones heart as he will do forever in
mine.

2011-08-03T07:02:00.000-07:00

this is the 3rd times i try to blog . But if it turn out nothing when i try to publish . imma scream out my lungs .

Sometimes we dont know how to start a conversation to a people . Even he/she is our love one .. Or even our family , friends etc ...

it even harder sometimes we dont even know how to express it thru chat or msg-es .. Some people , message / chat is the easiest way . But for me , its definitely not .. I used to shared out my feeling with people around me .. Whether he/she is my friend , classmate etc ..

But now , everything changed. I dont shared my feeling with people anymore .. Just sometimes i did ! when i cant stand it anymore ... I distance myself from people around me , i dont talk much with them or share much thing with them anymore ... Even the one i love ... Back to times , i used to shared alot of thing with him .. But now , i dont anymore .... Maybe because of failure love i got last years ... And that what tend me to changes ...

I think alot of thing from days to days ... But i don know how to share with people cos i scared i might annoyying people or bother them at the same time ...

Some small things can actually bother me , like when he did not find me .. Usually he use to find me at fb chat .. Bt today he didnt .. Some words from him can actually make mydays .. He never know that or maybe bcos he changed .. I've bo idea .

sometimes i think that im not his gf . Why do i care so fucking much . He still flirt around . but a words from him like babi imy . Just make all my depressed gone .. I dont know why i can fall over and over aftr he break me into pieces and pieces ..

I still remember that few days ago , i turned to him and said ' bcos im still the last time me that still deeply love you ' i tears out but i hold it back cos i dont want to see him sad seeing me like this when he meet me ... I just want him to be happy after his works ... at the end i just smile with him ... But deeply inside my heart im actually thinking so much ...

i guess i should distance myself from him , i don dare take another heartaches , bear the pain and the tears coming aand going of times . I scared the risk.

God please , help me what should i do .

2011-08-02T08:30:00.001-07:00

You know what? Yes i have changed.I'm not as nice as i used to be, because i don't wanna get used, or walked over. I don't trust everyone and tell them my secrets, because behind every fake smile is a backstabbing b*tch. I distance myself from people, because in the end, theyre only going to leave. I have changed because I have realized that i'm the only person i can depend on.

2011-08-02T08:27:00.001-07:00

I should stop thinking too much , maybe .. This is the best for us .. I Just wish both of us happy :) and always like this . I don't wish , for the same reason we become like last time again . I PRAY . Because I can't bear the pain anymore, And I love him too much that never fade even until now

2011-08-02T08:19:00.001-07:00

because I love you too much . I scared I get hurt again because of same reason . everytime I hold back my tears infront of you and try to smile and be happy . Cos I donwan you to think so much .. I just want you to be happy whenever you with me . Telling me that you are leaving , making me feel very pain . Its really pain , but I know I can't do anything other than pray . I pray I can have more time with you . To spend with you . I wish my pray will be heard . I know I can't be so selfish.

I just wish to be in ur arms forever . Be the one Ony. But I know , it won't last .

2011-08-02T07:51:00.001-07:00

the best line any guy can say...
"sometimes i just have to let her win,
because losing the argument is easier than
losing her"
:D

2011-07-31T09:24:00.001-07:00

hey , im blogging at this time , this hour , this sec agen ! Wtf !! Im actually having diarhea ;( i have been to the toilet lao sai+ing 6th times . FAINT!!! Whenever i did nt bring my medi with me , ths type of thing owes occur ! == and whenever i did bring it around with me , nothing happen !! .l.

Been an exhausted day to me today . I went out at 10 am to 11 am ! Whch is 12hrs non stop ! I went climB mountAIN smemre !! Wtf !!! i burn my fats bt forever spare tyre. LOL

2011-07-25T09:42:00.001-07:00

Live life to the fullest and never ever look
back, there is a reason for the future and a
reason for the past. Love till it hurts and
laugh till you cry and when your life flashes
before you, make it worth while. Be happy
for what you have done, and be happy for what you have over come, and most of all
always be proud of what you have become.

2011-07-24T11:07:00.001-07:00

theres always gonna be that one guy. you know. that boy who could make you smile no matter how pissed you were at your best friend. the one who you could stay up all night texting and go to school the next day surving on an hour or two of sleep. the boy who warms your heart .... and your body by sharing his big, cumfy hoodies. the boy whos smile touches you deeply, and laugh you love to listen to. theres always that one boy who you turn to. the one boy you could hold hands with 24/7. the boy you get in trouble for, because you just HAD to sneak out to see him. the boy who kisses you just right, and you fit so perfectly in his arms. theres always gonna be that ONE boy who has to turn his back. no matter how much love you give him, he gives up. theres always gonna be that one boy who hurts you so bad you go numb. that one boy you can't get over... there's always gonna be that one boy.

2011-07-24T10:55:00.001-07:00

Life becomes so much better when you decide not to care and just live for the moment and not let the drama bring you down

2011-07-24T10:48:00.001-07:00

In every girl's life there is always going to be this one guy that she is insanely in love with. And nothing he can say or do will change it. He will have this amazing ability to make her happy with just one word or glance, and he will be her entire world. He will have the power to break her, destroy her completely, but hopefully he won't. He won't have to try to make her happy, it'll just come naturally. When she thinks of him she will be happy, when she talks about him, not only will she smile, but the rest of her face will seem to glow. He will be the one she thinks of before going to sleep and the one she looks for first upon arriving somewhere. And he will most likely be the one who first breaks her heart.

2011-07-23T06:57:00.001-07:00

Idk how to tell u I love u still. Idk how to tell u that
even tho u hurt me, I'd rather be hurt by u then be
with someone else.Idk how to tell u,ur still my world. I
let u believe im ok when the truth is,im not and havent
been since we broke up.

2011-07-21T10:29:00.001-07:00

Ever have that one person in your life that
you just can't give up on, the one person who
can screw you over time after time yet you
always seem to give them another chance,
and no matter how many times you say this
is their last one, you know it's a lie because there's always just one more waiting for
them. The one person you know you're
better off without but yet you can't find a
way to let them go because deep down inside
you wouldn't know what to do without them.
The one person that you know doesn't deserve you but yet you choose to overlook
it...

2011-07-21T10:21:00.001-07:00

technically, i'm single. emotionally, i'm taken.
because in my heart, i'll always be his girl
even if he doesn't know at all.

2011-07-18T10:30:00.001-07:00

why must only when we lost something and we learnt how to regret ? Why ?

Ohgod , my heart shattered , alot of times .. Whenever i see u , it shattered and recover and shterred over and over again.. the past two mnth i tot i really over you .. Bcos of ' her ' which i never ask her not to be with you and some misunderstand that u think im the one who break both of you apart make me really pain .. and u never bother to ask and just remove me.. ON THT time i swear i will never forgive u , i will never want to show up anymore in front of you .. Bcos i noe , my heart will just shattered agen .. But i failed .. I cant bear to hate you ! I just cant !!! i remove everything when u remove me from fb .. I blocked u from msn , fb .. I delted my blog .. Babykii@html.com is no longer u can find .. I changed my number for a month .. I wish , i can removed everything and changed everything how i change the above of you from myheart and mind.. But , it failed .. Cos i love u over and over again and this feeling never fade just like how i used to love you .. Sigh !!! Pain much.

2011-07-18T10:17:00.001-07:00

I hate good-byes They kill me inside. But what am I going to do When I have to say good-bye to you? I won't be able to handle it Not even one bit. Are we going to let this be the end? After all we said we were the best of friends. I need to know that you will be back And everything will remain Hopefully just the same. I know I promised I wouldn't cry But honestly I tried, very hard. We have always stuck by each other And I can only hope it will go further Because I could never find another Just like YOU!

2011-07-18T10:15:00.001-07:00

.Last night before I went to bed. Thoughts of you filled my head. Though I've not cried this way in many years. On to my pillow fell six silent tears. The first was for your smile that I miss. And the taste of your tender lips that I long to kiss. The second was for your angel face and the thoughts of your warm, loving embrace and hug. The third came as no surprise, as I thought of our sillyness, memories , loving moment. After this the forth came rolling. Instead of my pillow, it was you I should be holding. The fifth came for one reason alone; I felt my love for you were not fully shown. I really miss you my love, my dear. There just fell my sixth tear

2011-07-18T09:58:00.001-07:00

I've been walked on, used and forgotten and I don't regret one moment of it because in those moments, I've learned a lot. I've learned who I can trust and can't. I've learned the meaning of friendship. I've learned how to tell when people are lying and when they're sincere. I've learned how to be a teenager, and how to grow up when I need to. I've been to hell and back a few times, and I won't ever take what I have for granted. This is life, live it one day at a time. You never know how many days you've got left..
But i never learned how to let go .. I blame myself for everything .. I sincerely wish that , wo men hui dao chong chian . God , do u hear me ?

2011-07-18T09:54:00.001-07:00

Because you can do what no one else can, you make me feel like me. With you, I don't have to put on a fake personality to try and fit in. If I find something funny when I'm with you I just laugh. If I'm being stupid, you'll tell me. If I trip and fall, you'll laugh and then help me up and give me a hug, which is exactly what I need. If I'm upset you'll ask me what's wrong, but instead of letting me cry for hours about it you'll say something, make me laugh and forget it immediately, No one else can do that. With you, I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not, I can just be me, and I love that feeling. If I'm in trouble you'd be there to help me through it. If I lose faith in myself I know you have faith in me. When I'm with you, it's just fun, I don't have to worry about being someone who knows everything, or someone that's loud and hyper. I'm just me. And I love spending time with you, because even though I have a lot of flaws, and I'm far from perfect, you still accept me as me, which is something no one else does. So, really what I want to say, is thank you with all my heart, for being the best love i've ever had, and for making me feel like me and be confident in myself.You truly are my Love my hero once agen

2011-07-17T03:53:00.003-07:00

Sometimes I think that we waste our words. And we waste our moments. And we don't take the time to say the things that are in our hearts when we have the chance... Sigh !!!

2011-07-17T03:53:00.001-07:00

Opening up your heart to someone isn’t always the easiest thing to do, but giving your heart to someone is about a million times harder. Love is an interesting thing, so many people have so many different definitions of love that it’s hard to tell when it’s really happened to you. It always sneaks up in its own way. It can hit you like an unexpected fast ball, or it can take nearly your whole life to creep up on you when you have lost all hope of ever falling in love. One thing to always remember, that I found out the hard way though, is the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. You can love your best friend with an unconditional kind of love that will never fade...the kind of love that tells you he or she always has and always will be there for you. Then there is that special kind of love the kind that is not only emotion, but action. The kind you feel when that special someone has crept or pushed their way into your life. The kind of love that has hit me early in life. You can tell someone or someone can tell you that you don’t know what love is, you’re to young, you have no clue the depths or hurts involved with real true love. It’s all false. You can have that special kind of love at 13 up until the day you die, even then you might not know the exact meaning of what it is to love someone, but just because you can’t explain it, doesn’t mean you can’t feel it.

2011-07-17T03:50:00.001-07:00

2011-07-17T03:33:00.000-07:00

short updates ,

"Every single time I try to forget about you, you always manage to pull me back in. Whether it's smiling at me, or even talking to me just for a second, I forget any thought of not liking you. So here it is. I like you. A lot. And although I might not be the perfect one for you and give you everything you want...I know I can give you enough everyday, just to make you happy."

he's still my love .he's still my love .

2011-07-17T03:13:00.001-07:00

2011-06-25T12:15:00.000-07:00

dearrr bloggies , im back with some topic.

Lets start ~

Sometimes , me myself wonder in this world whether did some people appreciate what their mum do to them ? Sometimes , some kids just never appreciate . For example ; when their mum was preparing dinner for them , their favourite dishes But their never bother to come home and have dinner with her ( mum ) do u guys noe that , our mum use all her heart , happiness to cook all the dishes just for you to eat ? Some kids even worse , they just go home , bath and went out dinner with friends , treating the house like hotel . Too much money to spent ? If yes , do something good , like doing charity , donation or give ur mum because she raise u up ..

A great mom to me has to be kind and caring. They should be loving and also have a good sense of
humor. They should have perseverance.Most of all,
they should be amazing. I think my mom has all of
these qualities. This is why I think that my mom is the
world's greatest mom. One speacial way my mom has helped me, is by
giving me the confidence I need. She tells me that I
could be what ever I want to be when I grow up if I
work hard at it. She has three kids (including me) and
still manages to be the best mom that she could
be! Also, I can talk to her about anything. She always gives me helpful advice. my mum she herself sick , but she never bother to see doctor..

One day , when i fall sick , and my mum she was suppose to see doctor too.. So , we both go to the clinik together .. BUT she just take number for me .. bcos she said she dnwn to see me wait so long and suffering .. That was the time when i start realise how important my mum is to me ... she feel heartache seeing me not eating anything , and just want to sleep ... She actually feed me like a baby Just to makesure im full . But when she is sick , she never bother to see doctor and still cook for me .. Seriously , without my mumm .. I donnoe where am i today .. Mum , i will repay you . I wish u healthy always .. I love u ...

2011-06-19T10:19:00.001-07:00

Imagine there is a bank account that credits
your account each morning with $86,400. It
carries over no balance from day to day.
Every evening the bank deletes whatever
part of the balance you failed to use during
the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course?
Each of us has such a bank. It's name is TIME.
Every morning, it credits you with 86,400
seconds.
Every night it writes off as lost, whatever of
this you have failed to invest to a good purpose.
It carries over no balance. It allows no over
draft. Each day it opens a new account for
you. Each night it burns the remains of the
day.
If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no drawing against
"tomorrow."
You must live in the present on today's
deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the
utmost in health, happiness and success!
The clock is running!! Make the most of today. To realise the value of ONE YEAR, ask a
student who failed a grade. To realise the value of ONE MONTH, ask a
mother who has given birth to a premature
baby. To realise the value of ONE WEEK, ask the
editor of a weekly newspaper. To realise the value of ONE HOUR, ask the
lovers who are waiting to meet. To realise the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a
person who just missed a train. To realise the value of ONE SECOND, ask
someone who just avoided an accident. To realise the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask
the person who won a silver medal at the
Olympics. Treasure every moment that you have! And
treasure it more because you shared it with
someone special, special enough to spend
your time with. And remember time waits
for no one. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a
mystery. Today is a gift. That's why its called
the present.